-image-Possession – DivX Version (Normal Quality), iPod/iPhone Version
Jumat, Nop 20 at 5:01 am
2842 words in post
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IMDB rating: 6.40 Plot: Roland Michell is an Americian trying to make it in the difficult world of British Academics. He has yet to break out from under his mentor’s shadow until he finds a pair of love letters in the textbook that once belonged to one of his idols, a famous long dead Victorian poet. Michell, after some sleuthing around, narrows down the suspects to a woman not his wife, another well known Victorian poet. Roland enlists the aid of a Dr. Maud Bailey, an expert on the life of the woman in question. Together they piece together the story of a forbidden love affair, and discover one of their own. They also find themselves in a battle to hold on to their discovery before it falls into the hands of their rival, Fergus Wolfe. |
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DivX Version (Normal Quality), iPod/iPhone Version
Actors: Eckhart Aaron,Northam Jeremy,Stephens Toby,Eve Trevor,Hickey Tom,Hollander Tom,Crowden Graham,Crosbie Craig,Good Christopher,Romance,Drama,Mystery,
my dad had an affair and moved the mistress into the family home.?
My dad had an affair about 2 years ago, he moved my mom and brother out of the house and i tried to stay. He moved one of his friends into the house whom on a daily basis called me a little manipulative cunt. My dad didn’t stand up for me once. Right before my family found out about the affair I began having nightmares that my dad was cheating and I was soon diagnosed with panic disorder, having multiple panic attacks daily. That is getting better now thankfully. I was forced to move out of my home because my dad would not kick this man out of the house. He eventually let his girlfriend move into the family home that my mother raised my brother and i in for almost 13 years. This roomate did one thing to upset his girlfriend and he kicked him out and stood up for her. she is constantly in control of everything and makes coming to that house very uncomfortable. she demands respect from me but gives close to none at times. she is very rude and notices the smallest mistakes and screams at you for them. I don’t feel comfortable in the house that I grew up in and another woman’s possessions are all over that house. she was very snooty the other day and told me that my mother was not welcome because it is not her home. and that she is never to step foot in that house ever again. Today I found out that along with my dad cheating previously in their marriage he forced my mother 5 years ago to have an abortion. He gave her the option of him or a child. I cannot get over these things and I lose a little more respect for my dad every single day. He ruined my life and has shown absolutely nothing to make me proud to say he is my father.
How in the hell is it possible to cope with this?
Has anyone else gone through a similar situation?
If you don’t like your dad and his lifestyle then move in with your mother. As far as what transpired between your parents…that is between them; did your mom not have a mind of her own?
katie2008 | Nov 19, 2009
Well it’s hard when we finally grow up and learn our parents are human, they make mistakes like everyone else. It’s even harder when we learn that our parents were worse than human they were just plain,mean,selfish, and manipulative. The first thing you should do is let go of the "family" home. It’s not your families home anymore. I would stop going there period. I would also let your father know that he stands to lose a relationship with you and your brother if he doesn’t change his ways. If he says he doesn’t care and values his mistress over you guys then get out and say good riddens. As for your mom she has taken a lot of abuse from this man through out the years i suggest you get her into counseling pronto, she needs to deal with all the anger, grief, and denial she’s obviously in. As for you, regardless of why your dad cheated and what transpired, that doesn’t give him the right to be a jerk and let his new woman be rude to you. I suggest you take the high road here and be an adult about things. If you and your brother are under 18 make your mom file for childsupport. If they are divorced then good if not tell your mom to get a lawyer and file for it. She doesn’t need to be married to him any more. Plus if they divorce she can get up to 50% of assets including the family home. I also suggest you set your dad down and have a heart to heart just him and you. Bring your brother too if he’s old enough to contribute to the conversation. Tell your dad that you’ve lost all respect for him and that he’d better think long and hard about what he’s doing because some day he will be old and gray and his kids are all he will have, does he really want to ruin that relationship now so that in 20-30 yrs he can come back and say oops, my bad? It sounds like he’s going through a selfish/midlife crisis phase and one day he will look back and be sorry for all he did. And also pull your new smaller family together and become stronger, you mom,brother and you are survivors and will move on. Good Luck!!
krazegurl_ds | Nov 19, 2009
its not going to be possible to ever see your dad the same as you once did. I myself would be rude right back to her. I would not give her an easy time. your mom shouldn’t have left her home.
jude | Nov 19, 2009
Your dad has made his bed and must lie in it. From what you have said, he and this woman deserve each other!
If it’s possible, try to speak to your dad away from her and the house. He will be defensive but may listen to your views, even if he doesn’t like them. You do not have to have a relationship with either of them but try to keep the lines of communication open between you and your father. He may wake up to reality at some point and get shot of the woman, who seems to be struggling to fill your mother’s shoes in her former home.
Tell your dad that you would like to still see him, but not at your old house. You don’t want to see this woman, and he cannot force you to. He should understand. If he refuses, that’s his loss.
I personally do not think that you should have been told about the abortion. Your parents’ relationship affects you to a degree but is not your business. Your mum has obviously had a rough time but she should not be telling you things about their past which influence how you feel about your dad.
It’s unfair pressure on you and is stressing you out, and I’m sure she doesn’t mean to make you feel bad. Encourage mum to talk to her friends, or to get counselling if she’s willing.
annie | Nov 19, 2009
You need hooked into a support system. Since you’ve been diagnosed with this panic disorder, I think you ought to go back to the doctor who diagnosed you and find out if he/she can get you some counseling. You can also access counseling through your school. That’s probably the best option.
Did you know that when we fall in love it’s sort of a temporary insanity? The brain produces these chemicals and afflicted person stops thinking rationally where the object of their love is concerned. Luckily this flooding of chemicals stops (usually around three years). So, what I’m saying, is you can’t expect your Dad to be thinking clearly.
I’m sorry you have to deal with this. Divorce is a very hard thing to handle, especially for the children. It sounds like you are trying to stay with your Dad in order to stand your ground or stake your claim over your father and the family home. You don’t need to do that and it doesn’t appear to be doing you any good. In fact it’s making you sick. Call your Mom up and ask her if it would be alright if you came and lived with her. I know that must feel like you would be giving up. It’s not. It’s just making things easier on you. You need less stress. I think you are grieving and that is why you elected to stay with your father, because you saw the break up of your family as the possibility of losing your father at the same time. I think you need to tell your father that you see this divorce as him throwing the family away. My bet is that is not how he saw it. He probably loves you very much and while divorcing his wife was not trying to divorce himself from his kids.
Go see that school counselor. Best of luck.
sillywhisper | Nov 19, 2009
This does happen.. and whether it was in the family home or even if your dad had moved into a different house you would have similar feelings with a "new" woman in the situation.. and im sorry but she’s right.. as far as where your mom is concerned in the house.. it is no longer your mom’s home, if she wanted the home or if she wanted a share of the home financially that would of been taken care of at the time of the divorce.. and your father couldnt "force" her to move out of her residence at the time of the seperation she obviously chose that it was better to leave.. so the house is no longer your dad and mom’s the home is now your dads and they are no longer married and there is no reason for your mom to be in the home anymore..
Now as far as the roomate situation, i dont know why your dad would of put up with this roomate, the only thing i can think of is he must of needed the roomate financially (not that its an excuse to treat you badly) .. when the gf came into play he wouldnt of needed the roomate if she could financially help him pay the bills, so it would of been easier for him to throw the roomate out at that time.. so it could of been financially motivated not so much that she has more clout then you.. because trust me although your dad is making some really crappy decisions, and making poor choices, as a parent i can say some times we have to live with crappy situations to get through until we can find another way of handling something, and if put in a situaton of my child or anyone else any parent that loves their child would pick their child if it was an "emergent" situation.. they may choose the other person when its trivial stupid petty things… but if push came to shove they’d pick their child..
The abortion issue.. thats between your mom and dad.. that has nothing to do with you and im shocked that either parent would of devuldged such information upon a child.. i think that was wrong to bring a child into their personal matters ..
Respect is earned not given, u should always give someone respect that u would expect to recieve, but genuine respect comes with time and is earned through actions.. she is the grown up in your house, and she should be given respect that u would give any outside adult but to earn respect u have to give respect..
What i dont understand, if u have so much hatred for your fathers choices, and actions, to the point that u feel so uncomfortable in your own home and surroundings, why are u there? Why havent u chosen to move in with ur mother and brother? Why are you holding on to the past instead of making a difference for yourself in the future.. u’ll never have that back, its gone and the quicker u deal with it, the better u will be able to move forward in your life.. stop holding on to the past, remember that our parents are human, they arent perfect, they make crappy choices, and mistakes.. all u can do , is learn from their mistakes, so that u , urself dont make those mistakes when you have children and faced with similar decisions in your life..
You cant change your parents, or the outcome.. all u can do is change the path your on, and the person u want to be..
brwneyedgrl | Nov 19, 2009
"How in the hell is it possible to cope with this?"
By growing-up & realizing that you can’t change your father. It sounds like you have this "old" picture of your father in your mind and you constantly throw yourself into the mix thinking he will just *snap* out of it and toss this new woman out. Sorry, that is childish on your part and you will continue to be disappointed / hurt.
Incidentally, your mother was completely wrong to burden you with the knowledge of the "abortion". It was a completely selfish thing to do on her part.
Toxic Panduh | Nov 19, 2009
I’d "divorce" any dad who treated me the way he treated his family. He is poor example for what a dad should be and an even poorer husband. You got stuck with a total loser.
Rick31 | Nov 19, 2009
Yeah I have but not the same thing but my relationship with my father is not what I can call great so you somehow find a way to deal with it. Maybe counselling can be helpful so that in the future it doesn’t affect your relationship with men in general because its very true when they say daddy issues can affect you in the future. I have an amazing boyfriend and I struggle so much to open up to him and trust him:> good luck tho
Crazzeee X | Nov 19, 2009
First thing, first. Your mother need to get an attorney and the sooner she does, the better she is. She has a legal entitlement to the house and she should start divorcing this loser as soon as she can. She need to grow a spine and start standing up for herself and her children. I don’t know why you’d want to live in a house where this "father" refuses to accept responsibility for his behavior, but that is what courts are for.If you are under 18, then Daddy can be sued for child support as well. The house belongs to your mother too. She can force the sale of it to get half of the money that belongs to her.I find it really whacked that the dad would kick his own family out and move his mistress in.I find it even more crazy that your mother isn’t standing up for you guys. She could be a victim of Battered Women Syndrome. You don’t have to be physically beaten to suffer from this. Emotional abuse can be just as damaging. You need to understand that your situation IS NOT NORMAL!!!!!!!!! You’ve got a load on your shoulder, hun. Is there a teacher at school you can talk to or a relative? You need help, as this stress is causing you medical problems. You also need to get therapy to understand and overcome this child abuse being done to you and your brother. Good luck, hun, my heart goes out for you.
sacredclay | Nov 19, 2009